All babies cry; this is the only way they can communicate that they need something. Crying can be caused by: hunger or being too full, anger/frustration, boredom, fatigue, overstimulation, uncomfortable position, too warm, too cold, gas pains, having a bowel movement, or pain. There are other causes as well. Most healthy, normal babies cry several hours a day if you add it all up. Over time, you will learn to tell from how your baby is crying what she may need.

Crying

All babies cry; if you add it all up, during a day a baby may cry for several hours. It can be very difficult sometimes to figure out why your baby is crying. They will cry if they are too hot or too cold, hungry or too full, bored or tired. Some crying is normal. In fact, there will be times when your baby is crying for what seems to be no reason at all.

Colic

Many people use the term colic, or colicky baby, to refer to the fussy time discussed to the left. Colic is more serious, lasting 3 our more hours 3 or more days a week in an otherwise healthy child, and it is usually very difficult to calm the baby. It may be normal, related to temperament and the normal fussy time. However, it may indicate a treatable medical condition. See medical care section of this handbook for more information.

Fussy time

This is one of the most important things for parents to know: most babies have a fussy time of day, and for most babies it is in the evening. It usually starts around 2-4 weeks old. You may be able to calm your baby down, but you may have to keep doing it the whole time. It usually lasts few hours every evening. YOUR BABY WILL OUTGROW IT IN A FEW MONTHS! It is temporary.

It seems that everyone has a cure for fussiness, so you will get lots of advice. Sometimes it will be helpful, but often it will not. Comforting your baby depends on what is making her cry, and on her unique temperament. What works for one baby will not work for the next. You have to get to know your baby. Rest assured, crying and fussiness is usually normal, and if you have any concerns, discuss them with your doctor.

Causes and Cures

Let’s look at the obvious things first. We see a lot of young, first time parents who benefit from having a grid to think through, an approach to their crying baby, so it never hurts to go over the common things.

  • Hunger: Feed baby. You should be able to tell if it works. Some babies get too hungry and won’t suck unless you calm them down and work with them. Wet and/or dirty diaper Check diaper and act accordingly!
  • Sleepy: Put the baby to bed! If your baby is overtired, you may need to calm her down or help her fall asleep. Too cold or hot If sweating, your baby is too hot. If they feel cold, they may be too cold. Adjust accordingly. In general, dress your baby as you are or in one additional layer.
  • Wants attention: Talk, sing, or play with your baby! Bored Your baby may just need a change of scenery or may need attention from you.
  • Wardrobe malfunction: Your baby’s clothes may be pinching or pushing or uncomfortable somehow.
  • Too full: Well, only time will fix this…

Gas/gassy baby

Ah, what everyone thinks is the cause. Only time cures this. You can try burping more frequently or effectively, or simethicone (Mylicon) drops for stomach gas. For pooping or passing gas, you can try moving your baby’s legs back and forth, holding knees up, etc. to help your baby. There is also a normal baby condition called dyschezia. That is a fancy term for the fact that trying to poop or pass gas often makes babies fussy, strain, and turn red. it is NORMAL.

If your baby is very gassy, try burping her more frequently. If she is bottle fed, try holding the bottle more upright and be sure she is not swallowing much air. If your baby is taking formula made from powder, try concentrate or ready to feed and avoid shaking it. This helps some babies. If bottle feeding, try a nipple that lets in less air, check your technique to be sure baby is not getting air. You may want to try changing bottles or nipples. If she is fussy when trying to pass gas or have a bowel movement, try sitting her up, or pulling her knees up to her belly while she is lying down.

Gripe water and formula changes do not usually help. Colic Calm/homeopathic drops are dangerous and do not help.

If your baby is too fussy, this may indicate illness.

Other ways to calm a fussy baby

So you’ve tried all the common things and your baby is still fussy. What can you do?

Pacifier/hands

Babies tend to suck both as a reflex and as a calming mechanism. Some babies have a higher need to suck or it seems to be their chosen way to soothe themselves. Pacifiers can be very helpful for these babies. They do not usually cause nipple confusion or breastfeeding problems. However, it may be best to wait until 2-3 weeks old, once breastfeeding is well established.

Some babies also like to suck on their fingers or hands. This can be very helpful; these babies may be able to calm themselves. If you swaddle your baby, you may need to leave the arms out so your baby can suck on the fists.

Skin-to-skin contact

As discussed earlier, skin-to-skin contact seems to regulate and calm babies, even increasing blood sugar and oxygen levels in newborns. It continues to soothe many babies after the first few days of life. It does not have to be associated with feeding, and fathers and other family members can hold your baby skin-to-skin.

It is important to do skin-to-skin safely:

  • Never do it while asleep or where you might fall asleep alone without anyone to get the baby off your chest
  • Sit upright or semi-reclined
  • Turn the baby’s head to the side

Massage

Some babies like to be touched and stroked in a calm, smooth fashion (and some don’t — there’s that temperament thing again). You can use oil or moisturizer that is safe for babies and preferably fragrance-free. It is also a good time to talk or sing to your baby. You can include this as part of your bath and/or bedtime routine (a bath is usually not needed every day).

Motion: rocking, swing, bouncy seat, vibrations

Babies tend to find motion soothing, and there are MANY products on the market to take advantage of the fact that parents have been told that fact. Swings are perhaps the most common. There are also seats that rock or vibrate. They even make a vibrating mattress now.

Of course you can always rock your baby or gently bounce them (but never shake them). However, you should NOT let your baby sleep in a swing or other device, especially of you are not watching them constantly. It is also best not to let your baby become dependent on them to fall asleep. Use them to calm your baby, or during alert wake time.

White noise

White noise helps both children and adults to sleep. You can try it for calming your baby or helping them sleep.

Other things that may help

  • Going for a walk in the carrier or stroller. If baby is very difficult to console, some respond to going for a ride (in the car seat of course).
  • Being calm and gentle, talking quietly to baby
  • Dim lights, quiet surroundings, maybe music

Swaddling

This is the solution everyone talks about. It is great as long as it done safely. Some babies like it and some do not. It can be especially helpful for babies that are easily startled, that like feeling cocooned, particularly infants born early.

Swaddling has been practiced for centuries, and has made a comeback in recent years. Thankfully, we now know ways to ensure that it is done safely. See Sleep section for information on safe swaddling.

  • You can use a blanket for swaddling, but you can now also buy swaddle sacks or wraps that are easier to use and may be safer.
  • You can swaddle with arms in or arms out, depending on your baby’s preference. Younger babies may prefer to have arms in.
  • You should stop swaddling by 2 months old. It is not considered safe after your baby turns 2 months of age.

Changing formula, breastfeeding elimination diets, probiotics, gas drops

Formula changes do not usually benefit fussy babies, though there can be specific conditions that cause fussiness that can be helped by certain formulas. However, these are far less common than formula companies would have you believe. It is best to let your doctor advise you about any formula changes.

There is no evidence that changes to a mother’s diet while breastfeeding will help most babies. If you notice something that always makes your baby fussy, then try eliminating it. The exception is that some babies are sensitive to cow’s milk proteins, and it improves when mom stops all dairy products. Your pediatrician should be able to help you diagnose this. Of course, caffeine and certain medications can make your baby fussy. Don’t use them if they do.

The research on probiotics is not clear or consistent. I think they are worth a try for babies who are very fussy. We recommend BioGaia drops.

There is not much evidence that gas drops, which contain simethicone (Mylicon), help very much, but it is usually the first choice. They are heavily and effectively marketed. They are generally safe and worth a try.

Things that don’t help and you should not try

  • Gripe water has no definition, is not regulated by the FDA, and every brand is different. It can contain herbal remedies that are harmless or harmful. They are not all safe.
  • Homeopathic remedies, including Colic Calm (also heavily and effectively marketed). Homeopathic does not mean herbal but means giving small doses of poison (seriously), which has poisoned some babies.

Getting frustrated with fussiness

Having a baby that fusses or cries a lot can be very frustrating and tiring. You love your baby and want her to be happy and content. You worry that something might be wrong. You hate to see your child in pain or discomfort. Parents are also tired, hormonal, sometimes anxious about being a parent. You be experiencing baby blues or postpartum depression. Almost all parents are sleep deprived. And honestly, a baby that won’t stop crying both gets on your nerves and also frustrates parents because they can’t help their child or figure out what is wrong.
Sometimes parents get so frustrated that they yell at the baby, begging them to stop. Sometimes they may shake the baby in frustration, or put their hands or a pillow over the baby’s face to make them stop. Of course, these can harm or kill a baby. Even the most loving parents can reach their limits. This can also happen to people you leave caring for your child. NEVER SHAKE YOUR BABY. More importantly, it is more common for a caretaker to shake a baby.

If you feel that you are getting frustrated, here are steps you can take:

  • Leave your baby in a safe place and step away
  • Take deep calming breaths
  • Listen to calming music
  • Get someone else to care for your baby for a while and take a break, get out of the house, etc.
  • Seek help for yourself and for your fussy baby
  • One way that has been shown to help is for you to know that the fussiness is NORMAL (once the baby is checked for any medical conditions) and WILL GO AWAY, SOON! It goes away by 3-4 months of age.